We were soon accosted by a heavily-haired mutant of exceptional height and bulk (see pict attachments 00-03) upon approaching the castle's main portcullis. These traps were disposed of quickly by my cadre of sanctioned psykers, and we able to press on. We stormed the grounds, suffering only minor casualties from various self-defense spell-traps that the enemy had placed within the grounds. Although the castle was hidden from normal sight by a myriad of hexes and foul enchantments, these wards were easily bypassed thanks to the psyk-out strike launched by the Persecution, and we were able to begin the assault. I am pleased to report that the heretical witch-coven, the blasphemous sect known as "Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft" has been eliminated, and every member of this vile cult has been cleansed with fire and sword.Īccompanied by five squads of veteran Inquisitorial Stormtroopers, two hundred local militia, a dozen arco-flagellants, two Penitent Engines, and three squads drawn from the Order of the Holy Nimbus, we began our assault upon the fortress of the enemy at dawn's first light. Transmitted: Inquisitorial Fortress, Bethor VIII Subject: Inquisitorial Purge BD-4992 "The Hogwarts Heresy" To: Lord-Inquisitor Von Grimm, Ordo Hereticus
#Warhammer 40k memes windows#
Must come complete with Windows 40,000 and have female sockets. Lonely Hearts: Several Techpriest Enginseers on Mars are seeking female servitors. News from around the Galaxy: Planet Carnage V was destroyed by Exterminatus today after the Inquisition discovered a man screwing in a lightbulb Some fear they may even prove to give more protection then standard issue Guard helmets. Baseball caps were also used by a number of Imperial Guardsmen instead of standard issue helmets.
He thought, or so he told the Commissar, that by dipping the shells in the pain killer, he could administer it from afar.įact of the Day: Baseball caps outlawed by the Inquisition on a number of Imperial worlds as "Heretical". He was caught by the Commissar administering pain killer injections from the back of the battlefield with a sniper rifle using unmodified bullets. News: A cowardly Guard medic was shot today by his Commissar after he was caught killing more Guardsmen then he was saving. Sports News: Chimera racing was banned today on Cadia on grounds of "misusing of Imperial assets" and the underground black market it supports. ++DELETED BY THE AUTHORITY OF THE IMPERIAL INQUISITION++Īnother thought for the day: Pulling the main wires out of terminator armor can be very entertaining. Lonely hearts column: Tall, thin metallic gentlemen with deep deep green eyes (in curvy hollow sockets) seeks well-oiled stainless steel female, must be soulless.Ĭlassifieds: Necron #011000100110111101100010 selling stasis chamber/bed, only been used for a few millennia but works like new. Thought for the day: Fear the Emperor or at least fear his Inquisition. 1 newspaper in the Imperium of Manįact of the Day: Emperor's Children are believed to be selling strange substances to children. GM: "Ok.you have to be the most badass person I ever met! What are you? A sergeant? An officer?"Īnd now a few excerpts from the Imperial Daily, no. GM: "Wow, you are badass! What happened to the other 19? Did they wash out? Or did they get looser jobs like janitors or something?" I was the only one who managed to become a marine." Three days later, I was sent to the Ultramarine training facility on Ultramar along with 20 other recruits. I managed to kill 2 cultists, in spite of being shot several times while charging. My squad was cut off from the rest of the regiment, and as we were out of ammo we were ordered to charge the enemy with only bayonets. SM: "At the age of 12, I was drafted into the Imperial Guard to fight an army of chaos cultists.
GM: "Hey, that's just rude! You have no idea what I am capable of, I've actually killed no less that 13 xenos in my career, an.” GM: "Cool! You know, I've been thinking about joining a marine chapter myself and.” GM: "So.you are one of those Space Marines, right?" In the food queue, a curious Guardsman (GM) attempts to start up a conversation with a Space Marine (SM). An Imperial garrison containing both Space Marines and a Guard regiment had been under siege by Orks for days, and as a fighter bomma raid had destroyed the Imperial Guard mess hall, the remaining Guardsmen was allowed to dine in the Space Marine mess hall.
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